14 Comments
Aug 2Liked by Ruby May

Temples for our numbness. I like that. I feel places and spaces where we can normalise the phenomenon of not feeling and respect its intelligence and functionality are deeply healing and help us to navigate our way through collectively to feeling more. I agree - rather than trying to penetrate it - which would set off the body’s alarm bells further, rather, being with it, being curious, in doable amounts and respecting its intelligence .Currently reading a book by Brigit Viksnins called The map of the seven realms- Melting freeze at the Dawn of the Golden Age. Thankyou for sharing Ruby it really resonates 🙏

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That book looks really interesting dear Ellie. And yes, there is something about respecting the intelligence and the respect and tenderness that this can catalyse that feels so right and needed. x

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Aug 3Liked by Ruby May

Beautifully and truthfully shared. NUMBNESS is collective. And it is a thing in itself, I agree. Thank you for the impulse to self reflect on my own numbing mechanisms.

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Thank you for sharing your resonance dear Dona!

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Aug 3Liked by Ruby May

Warm thanks for your precious perspective! It touched deep, and released a tear, and a rush of aliveness...

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That touches me to hear dear Annelunda <3

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Aug 3Liked by Ruby May

another cracker Ruby !!!

yes to temples of numb-ness .

and yes to spaces where we just feel ... with no agenda ... no penetration .... just feeling .... supported by others who are also just feeling

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I resonate with this

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Beautiful

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Thank you for elaborating on this. As someone who holds spaces for grief, I would like to understand your reservation about grief rituals because it is one of the most powerful and beautiful ways of melting that numbness...

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I don't have a reservation about grief rituals dear Filiz, I think they are one of the most important social technologies of the future. I have a reservation about the way we have collectively internalised disrespecting life as it is (e.g numbness) and have the tendency to bypass or leap ahead. And my sense (and my fear, and also perhaps my projection!) is that this can often play out in grief work that's not trauma informed.

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Thank you, I understand better now. I think the most pressing issue here is to do these rituals without a real community. These rituals worked originally in a community container. This is what I am most troubled with when I am hosting grief rituals. Being trauma informed is important and a really experienced space holder can work with what arises without pushing people into unnecessary catharsis. But what happens after the ritual, how are these experiences integrated? This is more the issue for me.

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Your text is good medicine for me. I have often labeled my own numbness with an unkind judgement as being frozen. Another sad side effect of our hyper-individuality.

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Hi Ruby, I hear you, I often arrive to grief circles with numbness. My teachers, Sophy Banks and Sarah Pletts hold grief circles where numbness is welcomed

https://grieftending.org/

https://www.loveandloss.co.uk/

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