I know I’m a little late to the party, but I wanted to add my voice to the conversation, inspired by the recent release of Louis Theroux’s Netflix documentary “Inside the Manosphere.”
Thank you so much, Ruby. I feel calmer reading this. I've noticed on social media and within my friendship groups it's become OK to diss men, write them all off, make blanket statements... and it makes me sad. These are human beings we are speaking about. And of course I understand where it's coming from. I have been teary with disbelief about the Epstein stuff and Pelicot. How can so many men behave this way? It's huge. All of it.
Thank you, Ruby. This is so beautifully articulated. I couldn’t agree more. I deeply feel so much rage right now about where we are collectively. And part of my hard work right now is to not point fingers and see all the problems as outside of me, but to recognize where the patriarchy lives inside of me. I have a son and am always contemplating ways to help him find his way with the fierce energy he has! Thank you for this! ❤️
I also agree that part of the problem we face for all people is our lack of initiation and rites of passage in our modern day culture. We have a bunch of boys running our world. Like you said, their fierce energy was shamed and blamed and never found a path where it was honored. Same for girls.
Hi Ruby, I have come across your name yesterday while listening to a podcast on the Red School's website. I loved your words and somehow my being 'in the messy middle' no longer felt so uncomfortable. I am very grateful for your sharing in this article too, because I have grown tired of the way men, especially white and western, are cruelly labelled and often attacked. Words like patriarchy and misogyny sound phony and empty to me, so I found it refreshing and encouraging that women like yourself can offer a different perspective. I have met many men in my life - some horrid, a few scared, most confused and without a real language to express their discomfort. Or possibly they were not even given the space for it. There are tons of great guys out there - and I am married to one. However a few months back he told me something that threw me off. He showed me a clip where a psychologist was saying that men are craving for softness, and added that I have gone too hard. And I have - that's the truth! As i try and navigate menopause, yes I have gone hard and possibly not been able to hold space for him to also navigate his own stuff. And here is the thing - I often feel that we women get very focused on what we need, don't have enough of, and should get more of that we forget men struggle too. And the world is not only full of bad guys! Thank you again and much love from London xxx
We refuse to see that these scandals represent an evil that isn't some foreign Other — but simply an extreme extension of the cynical systems we submit to, almost willingly.
Sure, people like Tate, Epstein, Combs and their kind are perpetrators. The worst kind. But at the same time they serve the mob's need to publicly cleanse itself and set itself apart. Preferably at enough volume that any looking inward — or at the systems — never gets a chance to happen.
Thank you so much, Ruby. I feel calmer reading this. I've noticed on social media and within my friendship groups it's become OK to diss men, write them all off, make blanket statements... and it makes me sad. These are human beings we are speaking about. And of course I understand where it's coming from. I have been teary with disbelief about the Epstein stuff and Pelicot. How can so many men behave this way? It's huge. All of it.
It's complex and it's a lot to hold isn't it? Thanks for sharing your appreciation and resonance dear Marianne.
What an excellent, insightful and compassionate piece of writing Ruby!
Lovely to receive your resonance dear Manu. x
Thank you, Ruby. This is so beautifully articulated. I couldn’t agree more. I deeply feel so much rage right now about where we are collectively. And part of my hard work right now is to not point fingers and see all the problems as outside of me, but to recognize where the patriarchy lives inside of me. I have a son and am always contemplating ways to help him find his way with the fierce energy he has! Thank you for this! ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to share your resonance and appreciation dear Jenna, and for being a companion on this journey. x
I also agree that part of the problem we face for all people is our lack of initiation and rites of passage in our modern day culture. We have a bunch of boys running our world. Like you said, their fierce energy was shamed and blamed and never found a path where it was honored. Same for girls.
Hi Ruby, I have come across your name yesterday while listening to a podcast on the Red School's website. I loved your words and somehow my being 'in the messy middle' no longer felt so uncomfortable. I am very grateful for your sharing in this article too, because I have grown tired of the way men, especially white and western, are cruelly labelled and often attacked. Words like patriarchy and misogyny sound phony and empty to me, so I found it refreshing and encouraging that women like yourself can offer a different perspective. I have met many men in my life - some horrid, a few scared, most confused and without a real language to express their discomfort. Or possibly they were not even given the space for it. There are tons of great guys out there - and I am married to one. However a few months back he told me something that threw me off. He showed me a clip where a psychologist was saying that men are craving for softness, and added that I have gone too hard. And I have - that's the truth! As i try and navigate menopause, yes I have gone hard and possibly not been able to hold space for him to also navigate his own stuff. And here is the thing - I often feel that we women get very focused on what we need, don't have enough of, and should get more of that we forget men struggle too. And the world is not only full of bad guys! Thank you again and much love from London xxx
Thank you for sharing your appreciation and resonance dear Antonia. Yes, men struggle too! Sending warmth your way.
Well said Ruby.
Thank you dear Anne.
Thank you, Ruby. ❤️
Thank you for the appreciation - it's always lovely to receive.
Lucid observations.
We refuse to see that these scandals represent an evil that isn't some foreign Other — but simply an extreme extension of the cynical systems we submit to, almost willingly.
Sure, people like Tate, Epstein, Combs and their kind are perpetrators. The worst kind. But at the same time they serve the mob's need to publicly cleanse itself and set itself apart. Preferably at enough volume that any looking inward — or at the systems — never gets a chance to happen.
This is on point. As most of your writing is!
Have you written a book?